We are from Green Land
by QueenMalka
Summary: A pair of wraith brothers are stranded on earth after the 'super' hive they were on is blown up by Atlantis. They must now blend in with the local people of Colorado Springs to survive. Appearances by SGA character will occur and re-occur
1. Chapter 1

We Are From Greenland, Chapter 1

The taste of blood filled his mouth. Yes, now he remembered what had happened. He had crashed his dart after the hive had exploded. He had been shot down by one of the opposing forces crafts. He had sustained a variety of injuries but nothing life threatening. The landing had been quite rough, looking around his dart he could see that some of the sensors were still working. After a few keystrokes he could see his younger brother's dart had landed nearby.

Closing his eyes he released his mind into the network as he called out to his brother. _"Are you alive, brother?"_

"_Yes, but my dart cannot fly."_

"_Can you get out?"_

"_Yes, and you?"_

"_Yes, pull your hardrive and any useful parts. I will be to your location momentarily."_

"_I will."_

He opened his eyes and started to cannibalize the useful systems on the dart. After a busy twenty minutes he left his dart with a backpack full of parts. He rushed across the hot desert to his brother.

Coming up to his brother's dart; he could see him cramming the last few parts into his own backpack.

"There is a human settlement not far from here. If we travel steadily we should be there by dusk," the older brother said.

"Fine, lead the way."

Trudging through the hot desert they made their way to the human settlement. The sun was beating down on them in their black leather jackets. Under normal circumstances they would have looked for shelter and then traveled under the cover of dark; however these were not normal circumstances. In their galaxy no human had ever been able to best their kind. But in their galaxy humans would not have been allowed to develop technology to fight invading aliens. These humans' defenses were good. They had displayed such cunning that they had managed to blow up the 'super' hive that was powered by a ZPM. Without a doubt they would have the technology and the ability to track the fallen darts and capture or kill the wraith.

After about two hours of walking they came upon the outskirts of the human settlement. Finding a nearby abandoned building, the two sought refuge from the boiling sun.

"When it is dark we will go into the human settlement and find transportation away from here. From what my sensors told me the settlement is larger than most of the ones back home," said the older brother.

"Good. Then finding food should not be an issue."

"No, it should be quite plentiful here as long as we use discretion. We will need to be careful on how we dispose of bodies. Humans here can communicate with one another across great distances and if they start finding bodies just laying around then they will come looking for us."

"Understood, I will take the first watch while you rest."

"Fine," the older brother said as he found the darkest corner in the bare room and sat down to rest.

Darkness had fallen outside as the brothers began to stir again. They had gone through their packs and minimized the amount of stuff in them so now they were less obtrusive.

The buzzing street lamps lit the dirty, partially abandoned street as they moved sneakily into the shadows outside the building. They headed down the street towards the more populated area of town.

After traveling for several blocks they came upon an older, trashy looking woman who was leaning against one of the street lamps. She took a long drag from her cigarette as she stared down the street.

An old beat up Chrysler New Yorker came chugging down the street and pulled up to where she was standing. She walked over to the car still smoking on her cigarette. She talked to the man in the car for a moment, then walked around and climbed into the passenger seat of the vehicle. They saw the car start to move for a bit then there was a scream, then nothing.

They saw the woman get out of the car with a wad of green paper and some gold jewelry. She shimmied her short skirt back down and walked into the nearby alley.

"Man, he didn't have barely squat on him. Hardly worth the bother," She said to someone else in the alleyway.

The two wraiths quietly shifted towards the others in the shadowy alley.

"If we moved to a more populated area, people would notice you drugging your clients and taking everything they got. Plus how likely do you think it would be for these fellas to pick an old tramp like you over some of that young meat out there. If they'd chose you, you'd have to do some actual hooking," a man in a deeply toned voice said.

"I know, I know. Give me my freaking cigarettes," she wined as she handed over the objects.

A hand reached out of the shadows and placed a crumpled pack of Virginia Slims in her hand.

Opening the pack and extracting a lighter and a cigarette, she lit one of the slightly squashed cigarettes. "I wish you wouldn't put these in your butt pocket. You smashed them with that big butt of yours," she protested.

"Bitch, bitch, bitch, that all you ever do, Candace. You should quite smoking those darn things anyway they'll kill you."

"I doubt that," she said as she took another drag from her cigarette.

The older brother looked at his brother, and said on the network, _"Dinner?"_

"_Appetizers at least." _Younger brother shot back laconically.

Moving swiftly through the darkness, her pimp barely saw the older brother before he clamped down on his chest and began to drain his life away. He flailed his hands desperately but all was to no avail.

Candice screamed as the younger brother pinned her against the wall sucking the life out of her, too.

After a few moments it was all over.

"Next time I get the healthier one," sneered the younger brother as he tossed Candace's corpse into a nearby dumpster.

"Fine," he said as he reached down to pick up the wad of green paper the pimp had dropped.

"Currency perhaps?" he queried as he examined the paper. "They seem to come in a variety of denominations, but are constant in what some look like from one to the other. I have a feeling that this will be helpful for us to have if we shall survive here." He leaned down and started to search the pimps clothing. After going through the clothing and the bag that the pimp had with him, the brothers had discovered another larger wad of green paper, a knife, needles with some unknown substance in them, and a black metal L-shaped object with a fake wooden handle and movable components. There was also a long coat with a hood in the bag, the older brother put it on and pulled the hood over his head.

The younger brother scavenged the jacket off of the pimp, which also to his delight had a hood that was zipped up in the collar. Unzipping it he pulled it over his head, but let his white locks hang out of the hood to further hide his face.

Throwing the scavenged items into his sack, the older brother said, "We should get moving. The humans are probably looking for us."

"Yes," the younger brother responded as he looked at a strange square plastic package he had found in the pimp's pocket.

"Leave it or put it back in your pocket," he said with a growl as he began to walk away dragging the pimps body over to the dumpster and then throwing it in.

Placing the small object in his pocket, the younger one followed after his brother as they started to slink down the road, they made it several blocks into a more inhabited area of town. There was a bunch of women in very skimpy clothing standing on the corner of the street.

Looking around for a way to avoid them, the older wraith decided to go down a side alley. After starting walking down the alley he realized his brother was not following him. He turned around and saw that his brother was ogling the human females. He let out a sigh and walked back to him.

"It is not play time; you can pick up a worshipper later."

"But they look fun," he said as he leaned slightly to look at the one in the leather skirt from a different angle.

Grabbing a handful of his little brother's hair, "Come on," the annoyed brother said as he began to drag his distracted brother behind him.

"Ahh…Ok, ok," The younger one said begrudgingly.

They went down the alley and turned on to a parallel street. The area they were walking in started to become a bit more populated by local people; none of them took any real interest in the pair since they looked like they had nothing of great value.

As they continued walking down the street, they both suddenly felt the presence of someone trying to seek them out. Looking around the older brother noticed a large, black SUV cruising down the road.

"Turn in here," he said quickly to his brother.

They walked through the doors of a seedy looking bar. The bar had a thick layer of smoke hanging in the air, and a floor that you didn't want to walk on in nice shoes for fear you would end up leaving one shoe behind stuck to the floor. The style of the bar would be called minimalistic if it wasn't such a fancy name; there was a bar, stools, dirty dull lights, and a bunch of tables. There were various small groups of people huddled around tables drinking and smoking, none of them even bothered to look at the two who had just walked in.

The two brothers walked up to the bar, but before they got to it a skinny, very drunk human male crashed into the younger brother spilling his drink on the younger brother.

The younger brother let out a low growl as he stared down at the drunken male in black gothic attire.

"I'm sorry man…If this a-hole hadn't been being such a dick to me, I wouldn't have been getting up to move chairs," he slurred as he gestured with a now mostly empty glass. "Hey, let me buy you a drink," he quickly added as he stumbled over to the bar.

Looking at his older brother for a moment he said across the network, "_Should we leave this place or use him for camouflage."_

"_We will hide here for a little bit, maybe by then the others will have left."_

The two wraiths walked up to the bar flanking the skinny human.

"Here you go," he said cheerfully as he handed the younger brother a mixed drink.

"What is it," he responded in a low voice.

"Oh it's a screwdriver, orange juice and vodka chilled."

"Hmmm…." He gave it a sniff and took a gulp out of it.

"Well do you like it? I can't really see your face there to tell."

"It is interesting," he said as he drank some more.

"Good, we will get you something stronger next. And how about you sir, do you want anything," he queried to the older brother listing to one side.

"No, I am my brother's keeper for the evening."

"Ahhhhh! The designated driver, well then more for us," the man responded as he slapped the younger brother on the back.

The older brother sat on the stool and sent his mind out searching for anyone else that had survived the intense battle. Much to his disappointment, he could not find anyone else in the general area. _"Perhaps their darts landed somewhere else_," he pondered.

Sometime had passed and he reached out to his younger brother whom had now consumed several drinks and was getting a bit fuzzy in his thoughts. Plus he was highly distracted since the human and he had been chatting up a storm after a few drinks. However, the older brother could see the human's stamina waning.

Leaning over to the human he whispered in his ear, "Where do you live?"

"In Colorado Springs, but I am staying in this crappy hotel down the street here while I'm on my business trip."

Pushing into the human's mind he could see the hotel quite clearly, they had passed by it earlier.

"It is time to rest. Why not let us help you get back to your room," the older brother said as he nudged the human's mind.

"Sure, we can go back there and drinks some more!" he said with a little hiccup at the end.

The older brother steered the drunken human and his tipsy brother back to the rundown hotel. After taking the door key from the human, since he could not operate the lock in his inebriated state, the three went into the room.

Closing and locking the door behind them, the older brother sat their two bags down in a chair. He walked over and pulled the drapes tightly shut.

The human male walked over to the table and grabbed one of the various glass bottles on it and poured shots into plastic cups. He and the younger brother barely had drunk them when he sat down on one of the twin pastel colored beds and passed out.

The older brother had gone around the room investigating and had found the TV. After fiddling with it for moment he got it to come on and started flicking through the channels till he came across a news broadcast.

The station was reporting on the citing that people had been calling in about a giant ball of fire falling from the sky, and how the government was denying it had happened.

A smirk smile came across his face, "So maybe we did destroy Atlantis." He said as his turned to see his younger brother who was leaning down to inspect the various liquor bottles.

"That would be great, but I do not think we are that lucky." He said as he poured himself another drink. "You want one?"

"Sure, we are safe and hidden now. I can afford to relax," he said as he walked over to the table and pulled his hood back.

The younger brother stood up and pulled his hood back, too. "Here you go. I have no idea what it is but darn does it pack a kick."

Taking the cup from him he sniffed at it for moment. "Fine. Well regardless of what has happened to Atlantis we will stay here for the night and in the morning we will see if this human can be of any further use to us in the long term," he said as he raised his cup.

"Sounds good to me. To the possibility we helped destroy Atlantis!" he said as they both toasted and drank the liquor very quickly.

"Ugg…you were not kidding. What is that stuff called?"

Picking up the bottle and staring at the label for a moment, "Sailor Jerry's Rum, 92 proof. I do not know, this measurement means nothing to me."

"Well, it is all yours; I am going to rest for the evening. Do not stay up to late drinking that. You will be miserable in the morning."

"Yes, mommy…"

The older brother let out a low growl. "I am trapped on Earth with no hive, no Queen, no dart, and my most frustrating younger brother. This is not how I thought the day would turn out," he said as he laid in the bed staring at the ceiling.


	2. Chapter 2

We Are From Greenland Chapter 2

Opening his eyes slowly, Victor rolled over onto his side. His head was pounding, i '_How much did I drink last night, and how did I manage to get back to my own room? Well, at least I think it's my room.' /i _He thought to himself.

Looking at the other bed in the room he could make out lumpiness to it, i "_Ooo, I guess I actually did bring a lady back with me,_" /i he thought hopefully. But he felt a sudden disappointment when he realized two things, one the lady was not in bed with him and two he was still fully clothed. i "_Crap, probably just a bunch of pillows or clothing."_ /i He thought as he struggled to sit up.

Sitting with his legs hanging off the bed, he gripped the night stand for balance as he stood up.

Suddenly, overcome by queasiness, he dashed around the bed throwing open the bathroom door and began to worship the porcelain gods just in time. As he gripped the rim of the toilet, he realized that the shower was running, and there was black leather pants neatly folded on the floor. Wiping his face with his sleeve, he leaned over to the shower, and pulled on the curtain. "What the Hell!" he screamed.

"Do you mind?" said the tall green male that was scrubbing his waist length white locks.

"Ahhhhh!" he yelled as he fell on his ass on the tile floor hitting his head on the door frame. After a very brief moment of realizing what direction was up, he scrambled to his feet and rushed into the bedroom.

The older brother just rinsed his air out, got out of the shower, dried off and slipped his pants on. He then calmly walked into the main room as he continued to dry his hair with a towel.

Victor had run back to the bed, and grabbed the Gideon Bible out of the night stand and hid underneath the covers.

Cocking his head to the left, the older brother stared at the trembling lump under the covers. "I do not believe hiding under those covers will keep me from attacking you if I wished to," he said smoothly.

"No, I'm safer under the covers you can't see me!" Victor yelled back in a trembling voice.

Letting out a slight growl of annoyance, the older brother grabbed the covers and ripped them off the bed.

Victor turned his terrified eyes on the older brother and then threw the Bible at him.

Catching it with his free hand, the older brother looked at it with mild curiosity. "You know this is not my religion, but I think you would offend most people by throwing such a book."

"Fine then just kill me now! I don't want to be subjected to any of your crazy probing experiments!" squealed Victor.

"Huh?" the older brother uttered as he sat the book down on the nearby table.

"Will you two just SHUT UP! I have got a huge headache!" the younger brother yelled at them from the other bed then threw a pillow at each of them. He quickly then put his head back under his remaining one.

Victor got whammed in the face by the pillow while the older brother just dodged to the side of the flying object.

"Perhaps, we got off on the wrong foot. At this moment I have no interest in killing you or doing any weird experiments on you, little human," the older brother said in a very calm voice while he mentally nudged the human into feeling that he could trust the male wraith.

"Ok, then why are you here?" Victor asked trembling, as he clutched the pillow to his chest.

"You and my brother drank heavily together last night and we did not have anywhere to stay. So after we helped you back to your room, you both kept drinking till you both passed out and I did not see the point of trying to move my brother after he had passed out," the older brother said as he nudged Victor one more time.

"Ok, so all right I guess that's cool. I don't remember much after getting to the bar but that sounds just like my luck. Bring home two green guys instead of one hot chick."

"Why would you want to bring a warm chicken back to your room? And you think I am capable of weird experiments?"

"No, no…I mean an attractive female."

"Oh, do the women here not find you appealing?" he said in his most sincere voice, even though he could guess the answer.

This little human was very skinny, and had stringy black hair that needed to be washed. He slouched a bit and his clothing looked as if was made for someone two sizes larger than him.

"Me? Hell no. I am not like you and your muscular build under this shirt. I'm one of those freaking skinny bird chested guys next to a buff guy like you I'm laughable," Victor said with a whine at the end.

"Hmmm," the big brother said as he stroked his goatee. Face lighting up as a brilliant idea occurs to him. This human was easy enough to nudge, so let's just try something off the wall that would never work back home. "Well then, we will have to help you become more appealing to women of your species."

"Really! Wait. What's the catch?"

"Merely help us learn about your world and how to fit in till we can be rescued. Both of our transports are beyond repair so we could be stranded here for a while."

"That's it? Well, I guess I could teach you how to act like a human here, but I don't have any of my equipment here to make you look like a human."

"Equipment?"

"Yeah, I do prosthetics for a living. Generally I cater to the body modification crowd right now. I was at a convention here for that. But I used to make horror and alien movie masks. So making an alien look like a human should be fun," Victor said as he cautiously slid off the bed.

"Wondrous. Then we have a deal," the older brother said with a wicked smile. "Now, I think the first thing you should do to attract a female of your species is to take a shower."

Victor looked down at his wrinkled and stained clothes. "Yeah," he said as he walked over to his suitcase and grabbed some clean clothing then strolled into the shower.

The older brother finished drying his air and then got dressed. He had left the rest of his clothing neatly folded on the vanity in the main room. i "_I cannot believe he agree to this, humans here are so naive. This is going to be more interesting that I ever imagined,"_ /i he thought to himself.

By the time he was done and adjusting his jacket, Victor was out of the shower and packing up his stuff.

Walking over to the other bed, the older brother grabbed the sheets and yanked them off his younger brother.

"Leave me alone," the younger brother protested as he shoved his head further under the pillow.

"The human is up and moving while you just lie here and whine. Get up!" he said with a snarl. His friendly persona thrown away.

"I do have a name, it's Victor," he said as he locked his suitcase. "If he wants he could just sleep in the back seat on the way home. I think I have a spare blanket we can throw over him."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, while lowering his head in discontent for his younger sibling's actions, he held back the urge to throw him across the room for it would probably scare their new little worshipper. Unfortunately right now they needed Victor to survive.

"Fine," the older brother said finally in a gruff tone.

Victor walked over to the T.V. and went through the menus to check out of the hotel, while the younger brother finally began to stir.

Throwing their hoods up, they walked to the door and followed Victor and his huge rolling suitcase. Stepping out into the bright sun light the younger brother cringed, while the older one just gave out a low laugh at his brother's misery.

"That's my truck," Victor said as he pointed at a faded red and white 1981 Ford Full size Bronco. It had a tear in the front bench seat and a cheesy tourist blanket thrown over it so that the springs didn't jab you as hard in the bum. Numerous stains were on the red floor boards from drinks spilled and a faded red steering wheel cover coved the acrylic steering wheel. The only new thing in the whole truck at first glance was the brand new GPS device mounted on the dash.

"Lovely," the older brother said sarcastically.

"I inherited it from my dad. Personally I rather the paint job be black with crushed red velvet interior. But you know one can dream." Victor said as he tossed his large suitcase into the back, which was full of large containers with many small drawers in them and a bucket.

Leaning against the truck's back panel the younger brother was clutching is head, and let out a low painful growl when Victor slammed the tail gate up.

Victor then walked to the front for the truck and opened the driver side door, then leaned the seat forward. "Climb in the back and lay down. I'm sure you will feel better in a little bit."

The younger brother turned to walk towards the door then suddenly was overcome by a gut wrenching feeling. Grabbing the rear wheel to steady himself, he leaned over and threw up on to the pavement.

"Well, that will make you feel better faster. If you need to do that while we're driving warn me so I can pull over," Victor said as he stared at the watery mixture on the ground. "When you're feeling better we can stop and get you something to eat."

"Sure," the younger brother said weakly as he stood up and climbed into the Bronco's rear seat. He laid down and pulled the blanket over his head.

The older brother walked over to the passenger side and got in while Victor finished setting the GPS. Finding the seat harness he looked around for where to clip it in.

After a few moments Victor noticed the older brother looking around for the seat belt buckle. "The dammed thing has a habit of falling back when you fold the seat forward." He said as he shoved his hand in between the seat and pulled it out.

With a flip of the key, Victor fired the v8 engine, and they pulled out of the cheap motel and headed for I-15.

"So how long will it take us to reach 'Colorado Springs'?" queered the older brother as he stared out at the orange landscape.

"Oh it's about 12 hours, we're going to head up to Grand Junction merge onto I-70 to Denver, then head south on CO-470 to I-25 then we're in Colorado Springs, easy as pie."

"12 hours...is the landscape different there?"

"Yes, it's much greener and white when we get snow."

"Colder also?"

"Oh yeah, none of this desert heat."

"Good," he said as the stared at the never ending orange landscape. "I have never really cared for the hot desert."

"I could guess why. Leather is soo not your friend in hot sticky situations…well most of them," he said with a sly smile at the end.

Raising the preverbal eyebrow the older brother turned to look at Victor. Whose smile was getting bigger.

"Well, you know, hot chicks in short leather skirts and corsets and such. That hot and sticky isn't a bad thing," Victor said as he continued to grin lecherously.

"Generally I have always found such pieces of clothing quickly discarded on the floor by that time," the older brother said with a smirk.

"So can I ask, are Green women different that human women, you know in bed?" Victor said very curiously.

"Fundamentally everything works the same. They are a bit bitier and have habit of clawing ones back raw. Especially if you get them to their peak more than once; however, if you do not please your Queen they tend to do very cruel things to you."

"What like kick you out into hall butt naked?"

"No, far worse. Although I have heard of that happening, but only cause he made her laugh with his completely incompetent performance."

"Poor thing, so it more dominatrix like?"

"I do not know that word."

"Well, whips and chains and such."

Not wanting to scare the little man with the thought of feeding, "Yes, that about covers it."

"Fun, sounds right up Rana's alley, only chick at the whole Goth club that I really worry about hurting me. I remember the time she got in a fight at the bar, it was bad. That guy had to get soo many stitches."

"Sounds like a delightful woman," he said sarcastically.

"Well, he did deserve it. He grabbed her crotch after she told him to shove off. She's not always that bad, as long as you stay on her good side. She's the best tattoo artist I know, she also does piercings and other modifications. I sell a lot of my implants to her. She's just a dominatrix on the side."

"Interesting. Maybe we should introduce her to my younger brother. She could 'whip' him into shape."

A low moan of disapproval came from the back seat, then a hand reached up and grabbed the older brother's shoulder. _"Stop now…"_

"Oh crap, I just got on the Interstate, I can't pull over now. There's a bucket behind you, it catches the water that leaks from the roof just use that," Victor said quickly as he merged with traffic.

Struggling to turn around while holding his left hand over his mouth, the younger brother grasped for the bucket in the back. He got it just in the nick of time. As he sat in the back seat holding the bucket between his legs he looked at Victor and said "Why does it smell soo bad?" he whined.

"Well it is vomit. If it smelled like roses I would be worried," Victor said sharply back.

"Not that, it is the bucket itself. Something has been growing in here," he moaned as his eyes focused on the mold crawling up the side of the bucket.

"Just put it against the back door. We can't dump it out while driving," Victor said as he merged into an inner lane.

After placing the bucket in the back, the younger brother settled back down underneath the blanket, and drifted off to sleep. An occasional whimper could be heard from him.

"Do not worry he is just having dreams about his last encounter with our former Queen."

"He wasn't?"

"I would not tell anyone something soo humiliating about my own little brother," he said with a wicked smile as he stared at the scrub dessert with the red mountain walls in the background.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After driving for several hours, Victor's stomach started to rumble. "Ok, I'm going to stop at the next exit. It should have a Waffle House at it. Does that sound good to you two?"

"Did he say whore house?" the younger brother queried hopefully from the back of the bronco, while still holding the bucket at a distance.

"No, you idiot. What is a Waffle House?" the older brother asked with a tone of frustration and flavored with a hint boredom.

"It's a fast food restaurant that serves breakfast all day long and burgers and melts," Victor added hastily.

"So we have to catch our food?" the younger brother said with excitement as he held himself up on the back seat. Adding on the network "_Just like back home, brother."_

"I seriously doubt that, I am willing to bet the usage of the word fast is due to speedy services in which the food is delivered to the patrons."

"Yep! Oh yeah this exit has one," Victor said as he pulled off the interstate and drove to the little yellow building.

"You know we're going to have to come up with some kind of cover story for you two. We could say you are foreign and don't speak much English. Oooo! We could say you are from Greenland. Most people don't know anything about that country except that it's freaking cold."

"Greenland? Could you be more creative? I understand we have a greenish tone to our skin, but that is just pathetic. It all sounds just foolish and unbelievable," lamented the older brother.

"Well, then we can just get on the internet and figure something else out when we get to my house. In the mean time let's just go in and get some food. You two just be quiet and keep your hoods up and I'll talk to the waitress."

"Fine," the older brother said as he unbuckled the seatbelt and got out of the Bronco. His younger brother followed him with not so much grace, as he was climbing out he slipped and planted his butt on the cement.

"Really cannot you act the least bit dignified? We are a superior race."

"Sorry, I cannot seem to get my balance."

After helping his younger brother to his feet, the two straightened their hoods so their faces were more concealed. "_Scaring the human with the fact we do not eat would be suicidal at this point so just try and maintain a low profile, you inept little brother_."

_"Fine, you killer of joy."_

They both followed Victor into the small yellow dinner. They sat down in one of the booths near a window. The two brothers sat on one side, with the youngest on the outside and Victor facing them. They grabbed the menus out of the hider and perused them.

"Everything is fried or covered in some liquid," the older brother said in disgust.

"I didn't say it would be healthy food, but it tastes damn good!"

The brothers stared at the menus for a few moments till the younger one started making gurgling noises and quickly clasped his hands over his mouth.

Appearing out of nowhere and slightly startling the group the gray haired waitress said, "If that poor boy is so sick, you better just feed him the B.R.A.T.S. diet, that's what we had to do for my grandson when he got sick last month."

The older brother snorted slightly at the word Brats as the elderly waitress adjusted her glasses.

"You poor thing you're turning green," the waitress said in a sympathizing voice as she looked at the younger brothers' hands.

"I'll go and get him some toast and water, while the rest of you decide on what you want."

"Brother, you look like you are going to explode, perhaps you should find your way to the restroom," the older brother said in a calm voice.

"They're over there," Victor said as he pointed to the wooden door in the distance.

Nodding his head the younger brother scooted out of the booth and headed towards the bathrooms.

The elderly waitress came back over after a few minutes with the toast and three glasses of water. "Where did the young man go?" she said in a concerned tone.

' "Bathroom," Victor responded flatly.

"Oh, poor thing. Do you two know what you want?"

"Yeah, can I get the eggs over easy with oatmeal and a banana?"

The older brother felt all eyes falling on him. "_Was not this human supposed to do all the ordering of food? Will the old human notice my voice? Best to keep my voice low." _ Scanning the menu quickly for the simplest object that he didn't think would require more questions the older brother pointed at the menu and in the softest low tone he could do he said, "This"

"Best thing at a waffle house is our waffles. Now do you want Maple, Raspberry, Boysenberry, honey, or just jelly with your waffle?"

He let out a low growl and scowled at the Victor.

"He is not from around here, and his English isn't very good. Maple will be fine."

"Where are you boys from?" she said in the same tone that a grandmother uses when asking about her grandchildren's latest adventures.

Not having come up with a better answer yet Victor blurted out, "They're from Greenland."

"Really, well if you'd been here two weeks ago then you would've been some of the furthest away customers. But last week we had some guy all the way from Egypt. He had the strangest voice. He was traveling with some nice military people. Air force or Marines I think. They kept talking about ships and flying. Anyway I'll go and put your order in real quickly," she said with a smile.

Wondering what was taking his brother so long, the older brother looked in the direction of the bathroom. He quickly saw that his brother was standing eye to eye with some of the local teenagers.

"Oh no," he muttered.

"Man! Aren't you dressed up a little early for Halloween?" said the young fellow in an Abercrombie and Finch jacket.

The older brother quickly got to his feet and headed over to collect his sibling before a brawl broke out. His younger brother had never been known for keeping his temper in check and had caused some problems on the hive in the past. One should not sucker punch another male wraith unless you are willing to go all the way and you want his job, not just because he was being a jerk to you.

"You freaky Goth weirdoes are always creeping me out! Why don't you just go and kill yourselves and save the rest of us from having to listen to your whining and bad music," said one of the other fellows in the booth.

The younger brother cocked his head to the side in confusion, "_What are these moronic humans talking about?_"

"What are you deaf and dumb, too? Or do you not speaka de English, freak?" the third fellow said in a condescending tone.

The older brother had almost reached the group when the elderly waitress appeared out of nowhere, causing the older brother to stop dead in his tracks out of shock. "_Maybe she has some wraith queen in her DNA because that was way too fast for any normal human._"

"Justin Connelly, Mark Johnson, and Edward Mathis, you leave this young man alone. He's sick and he's from Greenland. So he doesn't speak our language that well. You should be showing him kindness and hospitality. But instead you are showing your asses. Now eat your lunch and behave or I will call all of your mothers!" She said as she stood there with her hands on her hips.

"Yes, ma'am," they all said in unison.

"Good, "turning away from the group she took the younger brother by the arm.  
"Now why don't we take you back to your table, deary."

The younger brother put up no protest as the waitress escorted him back to the table. The older brother had already returned after being startled by the waitress.

"I can't stand that stuff. People are always harassing us Goths. Hopefully they'll leave before us so we won't have to deal with them anymore."

"Your orders should be ready in a minute. Did you want anything else, deary?" The waitress said to the younger brother.

He just shook his head no.

"Alright then I'll be back with your food in a minute."

"Feeling better?" queried the older brother.

The younger brother let out a low grunt as he crammed more toast into his mouth.

"You might want to slow down or you will just throw up again. Trust me I know from way to much experience with hangovers," Victor suggested.

Looking up at Victor for a moment the younger brother just let out another grunt.

"We seemed to have de-evolved now. When you decide to rejoin sentient life, we will start talking to you again." The older brother said as he watched a family of four loading up into a SUV. He then heard a gagging noise next to him as his younger brother turned and ran for the bathrooms.

"I told him."

"He has never listened well. This has caused some problems since he was our navigator. "

There was a large crash in the direction the younger brother had headed. Turning they saw the human called Edward sprawled out on the floor. The rest of that guy's group had quickly got up and followed the younger brother.

"This shall not turn out well," he muttered to himself, "Victor go and see if you can get our orders changed to being boxed up so we can take them with us. I have a feeling we will want to leave quickly after I go take care of these idiots." The older brother then got up and headed towards the bathrooms.

Mark and Justin had already run through the swinging door by this time. When the older brother reached the door he could hear a large amount of banging going on. Opening the door the older brother gaze fell on Justin sprawled out on the floor. Stepping over Justin the older brother walked into the bathroom to find Mark pined to the wall.

"Yes!" the younger brother said with great excitement as he drew his feeding hand back.

"No." the older brother said as he grabbed his siblings arm. "This is not the place or time. Drop him." Producing a stunner from his coat the older brother shot Mark before he could start making a fuss. "If they are all unconscious there is less likelihood of a pursuit that would cause us more trouble."

"But I am hungry! That skinny woman was just a snack," the younger brother said with a whine.

"You cannot feed on these ones. If you do, you run the risk of scaring our ride and stranding us out in the middle of nowhere. You just have to wait till we get to this 'Colorado Springs.' We will find you someone there to feed on."

The younger brother hung his head a bit and grumbled, but he would not openly argue with his older brother. He had tried that before and getting thrown through a wall just was not that much fun, especially when it was not a ground floor wall.

They walked out of the restroom and Victor was standing there with the food. "Let's go!"

"That would be a good idea," the older brother said with a sigh.

They settled into the Bronco and continued towards Colorado Springs.

"Man, trying to eat eggs and drive soo isn't working. And I'm not going to attempt the oatmeal."

Looking at the white mushy stuff in the container, the older brother said, "To me it does not really look that appealing anyway. It reminds me of the mush we were fed as children."

"I loved that stuff!" the younger brother piped up from the back seat as he gnawed on his brother's unwanted waffle.

"Yes, I remember someone grinding it into his hair as a child."

"What I was trying to do was to get dreadlocks like dad."

"And now as an 'adult' you have achieved such things. Perhaps you should set some new higher goals."

The younger brother appears to think this over for a minute. "Nah. You know this waffle thing taste pretty good, you should try it."

"I think not," he said in a very unamused tone.

"You sound a whole lot better now," Victor mumbled between bites of egg.

"Oh yeah, that last time seems to have taken care of my problem."

"Speaking of problems there is a large red vehicle gaining speed on us quite quickly," the older brother said as he stared into the side view mirror.

"Probably just someone in a rush. It's not like anybody would have a reason to chase us," Victor said.

"Looks like the guys we beat up at the restaurant." The younger brother said as he climbed into the back part of the Bronco.

"You mean, the ones we re-educated in bathroom etiquette."

"Beat up! What do you mean beat up? I thought you were just going to the potty at the same time."

"I think we may be getting to some of the root issues on why you have no luck with the females of your species. You need to work on paying better attention to things," the older brother said with a tone of annoyance. "_I think we may have gotten the stupidest human on this planet," _he added to his brother on the network.

The red truck had caught up with the Bronco, and ran into if from behind, jostling the guys all about in the Bronco. The old Bronco swerved and sputtered a bit. Victor slammed the gas pedal all the way to the floor.

"Come back here you whinny Goth boys!"

"Yeah we want to finish round 2!" screamed Edward as he revved the truck's engine.

"I don't think I can out run them. I'm going to top out way before they do in that Ram 1500."

"Then perhaps we should try something more assertive" said the older brother.

"Indeed," the younger said as he opened the rear window. "I think...yeah no problem." A wicked smile came across his face as he grabbed the vomit bucket and threw it out the back window of the Bronco.

Moments later they heard squealing tires. The bucket hit the front windshield and shattered, spreading the vomit all over it.

"What the hell where you thinking!" Victor yelled "If a cop had seen that he would've thrown us all in jail! You are lucky no one else was on the road!"

"They stopped following us," the younger brother said as he closed the rear door and climbed back into the backseat.

"It was still irresponsible," the older brother said with a bored tone as he stared out the window, _"Although it was quite creative_," he added on the network.

"You know what? No more stops till we reach home, ok!"

"Fine by me," responded the older brother.

"Does not bother me either," the younger one said as he thumbed through a girly magazine that he had found on the floor. "Do you have more of these? Especially ones that the pages are not stuck together?"

"No," Victor snapped quickly.

"Well then, I will just have to read this one."

"You are using the term 'read' in the loosest sense possible, brother."

An evil grin came over him, "Well, I am just trying to get an idea of what 'Earth' women look like underneath all that bothersome cloth."

"_Great only 5 more hours left of this fun. What I would give to be back on the hive with a nice little worshipper enjoying some relaxing activities…but no I am stuck in a damn metal box on wheels with these two idiots…what did I do to deserve this?" _The older brother thought to himself as he watched a billboard for a petrified tree museum pass by.


End file.
